Thursday, August 27, 2009

Horizontal?

Well the boys started their first day of school yesterday. It was cute, but a little crazy. I asked Nathan if I could take his picture for the first day and he told me no. He'll regret that later. Tim didn't have his parking pass yet and both boys realized that the regular school year at IUPUI is not the same as summer classes. As someone who has only taken summer courses at IUPUI, I still have no idea what it is like for the fall semester and can't imagine the place actually being...busy. But at least I get to hear about it when they get home.

We try to keep somewhat of an academic atmosphere here in the apartment. (Try being the key word) Both boys have been working for a couple years and I just graduated. But we're all in the same mindset that we have to continue with our studies. I'm studying for dental, Nathan wants to apply to PT school, and Tim is planning to apply to Med. The boys have to do their science pre-req's for the next year in order to do this. Obviously, we get a little sidetracked from these studies occasionally. But there's the background as to why they are even taking class this fall.

The madness of their first day also involved being late to class because of parking issues and finding out that they both ordered the wrong book. I got a call in the afternoon from them both asking me if I would look up the phone number of a bookstore. This was pretty important because they needed to get the book situation taken care of while they were downtown and evidently the wrong book number was posted online---not their faults. All of the sudden as I was searching for the phone number they hurriedly say to me, "Quick give us Stacy's number! She's walking in front of us." I gave them Stacy's number and...click...they were gone. Clearly playing pranks on Stacy became more important than their book search.

I later found out that while the boys were in the student center bookstore Nathan decided to fart right in the middle of a group of people. And then he carried on like he didn't do anything while Tim observed the facial expressions of the surrounding people. The thing about this is...the past couple days Nathan has been farting a lot. And they aren't normal farts, they actually sound like he should go check his pants afterward. I can only imagine what the people around them thought on that first day of school.

Speaking of farting, the other night Nathan said, "Before you got here Tim and I wondered whether or not we should fart around you. I guess we decided it's ok." I asked him if they actually had that conversation before I moved in and he said, "Well, I know I had it with myself." I again reminded him of how weird he is.

We like to have what we call around here "family dinner". Last night during family dinner I discussed my current employment dilemma with the boys. Here's what I appreciate about them. As crazy and freakin WEIRD as they are, they are two REALLY smart boys. And for a few minutes we had an intellectual conversation where they posed questions to me regarding the job situation that I hadn't even thought of. This helped me so much and I love them for their insight.

After that conversation Tim decided to enlighten me with more of his so-called insight. He asked another excellent question that I'm sure everyone would love to know the answer to. "Why aren't buttcracks horizontal?" This was followed with more questions like, "Would they make toilets differently if buttcracks WERE horizontal?" I just cannot figure out what brings these things to his mind... It cracks me up (no punn intended) nonetheless.

Tonight's excitement: Nathan gave Sophie (his cat) a bath. He now has swollen bite marks on his arm. They also brought me home a gift that they found at Wal-Mart on their way home from the gym. It's a chip and dip tray with an IU symbol in the center of the dip dish. There must have been some sort of misprint (which I think is why they bought it) and around the outer chip part of the tray it says "Carolina Gamecocks". Thank you, boys.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Tim's stomach will be turnin and his butt burnin

Tim got back from New York. Thank goodness. The minute he got home from work this evening Nathan handed him a jalapeno pepper from the garden and told him, "eat this." (It was more of a habanero, not a jalapeno) And because Tim will eat anything, especially if Nathan tells him to, he took it and ate it without hesitating. There was a rule that came along with eating the pepper...Tim wasn't allowed to take a drink until five minutes later. With smoke coming out of his ears, five minutes later Tim gulped down his drink. This was about the time I handed him a jalapeno pickle to eat that I was using for the potato salad. He must have forgotten his recent spicy pain and gladly ate it. I yelled from the kitchen, "Tim your stomach's gonna be turnin" and Nathan finished it with, "And your butthole's gonna be burnin!"

Tim running to the bathroom:








Nathan fried the fish fillets to perfection and as we sat down Tim received a text from a friend. It went like this: A man said to his woman, "Make me something for dinner that reminds you of how good I am in bed." She fixed him cocktail weiners and minute rice. This was only the beginning of the dinner entertainment. Nathan decided to take the last of the fish fillets to the upstairs neighbors as a peace offering for never calling the cops on us for being too loud. Because he'd only been wandering around in his way too short running shorts all day, Nathan thought it'd be funny to put on a shirt that was too long. He did this, which WAS indeed funny, until my sister (who is visiting for the night) asked him why he didn't just put on the dress shirt that was conveniently hanging over the chair. Since this was a better idea Nathan changed shirts, only buttoned the top button, and added his hunting boots into the mix. Tim gave him his tie from that day and both boys decided he needed a hat. I'm thinking, "Oh this will be funny he should wear a backwards baseball cap." But no. Tim (who oddly keeps a box of random hats and wigs in his room) gave him a cop hat and Nathan turned out looking straight up like a mail-order stripper.


Nathan talked Tim into putting clothes on and joining him on the adventure of a peace offering. Tim's outfit turned out equally hilarious and consisted of knee high socks, boxers, a speedo over the boxers, three very heavy winter sweaters all in different colors, and a hot pink santa hat that said "Naughty". Oh yea...and an umbrella. Tim didn't want to go empty handed so he grabbed a cookie from the batch and took it to give to the neighbors as well.


The final event ended with the neighbors, who are probably in their mid 60's, joyfully inviting the boys in and the woman asked them in the most excited voice I've heard in a long time, "Oh, what's the PARTY for?!?!"


video

Upon the boys' return we found out that the cookie Tim chose to take to the neighbors was actually one that someone had already broken a piece off of. ONLY a guy would not notice that the cookie was not a full circle. After making fun of Tim the boys spent approximately 15 minutes heckling my sister and me with a variety of "I'm so horny..." jokes, pretending like they didn't know we could hear them.

The night ended with us all having "family movie night". Out of the choices of movies we, of course, picked the one starring Jessica Alba and Justin Timberlake "The Love Guru". About an hour into the movie as I was CRACKING UP I asked, "Is anyone still awake??" All three of them had been sound asleep the whole time. When the movie was over and the credits were annoying me I woke Tim up to ask him to turn it off because I (of course being the girl in the apt) didn't know how to work the playstation. His solution was to just turn down the volume. Even I could have managed that!

It is always nonstop entertainment here at the APT...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Over some eggs, toast, hashbrowns, pancakes, and large waters (post birthday bliss) with Stacy and Neal I felt inspired to create a blog about what it is like to be a 23 year old girl living with two 25 year old "boys". I was politely reminded by Stacy today that, judging from my HUNDREDS of facebook threads to our group of friends over the past four years, I tend to talk/write a little too much. Concise is key. I'm sure it will take me awhile to learn that concept.

As my first post I need to give a brief background of how I came to be in this position of living with Tim and Nathan. Last summer I was lucky enough to spend every day of the first half of the summer sitting in front of Sam "CC" in our physics class. (Insert moment of silence for how much we all miss CC since he moved away for PT school) At that time CC was living with Tim and Nathan, so through him I met his roommates. When CC went back to school Josh moved in to continue his law school journey (shoutout to IUPUI law students). Josh got married in June. Tim and Nathan needed a roommate, I needed a place to live. End of story.

It's going to be an interesting year. Exhibit A:
It is currently 24 hours after August 15th, 2009 when the annual Quadruple August Birthday Bash happened.

As we made our way from Chumleys to Wild Beaver we lost Nathan. Considering we were down about 20 people from last year and there were only about 15 of us, it wasn't that difficult to keep everyone together. Even Mike B., who didn't even know his own name, didn't get lost. Yet, Nathan was gone. A dozen phone calls and a couple bars later Stacy and I went back to my apt to find Nathan sound asleep. We found out this morning he decided to walk the 4+ miles from BR to our apt. It took him just under an hour and a half...and he was in flip flops. Now, Nathan isn't a huge guy but he's fairly built and could hold his own in a fight, I'm sure. But if someone wanted to mug him they would have no problem. Scenario:

"Give me all your money or I'll kick your ass." --Big mean mugger guy
"Prove it." --Nathan

I'm sure as a former wrestler he's pretty scrappy, but his mouth gets him in trouble.

This morning as Stacy and I layed on the futon (which we perfectly positioned directly in front of the tv in the early morning hours to watch a movie) Nathan sat down to chat with us. Btw, the movie was HBOLE's Sex and the City in spanish. After discussing the previous night we somehow turned the conversation to having children...very random. Nathan let us know that he doesn't care what his other kids' names are but he is naming one of his sons Boss. Boss?? wtf. Stacy let him know that that may not be such a great idea because that is kind of a badass name, and what if his son isn't a badass? Nathan argued that the boy would be in a win win situation. He would either be a badass with a badass name, or he'd suck and still have a badass name. Sounds to me like that's gonna be one lucky kid.

As for Tim this weekend...he's in New York. But when he gets back we're going to make him wear the IU apron and fry up the fish fillets :)

The boys would like for me to add in how nice it is to get to see them right after they've showered when their rippling muscles are glistening. (I, in fact, have never seen their muscles glisten)

So, here I am sitting in the living room of our apartment with ESPN on the tv as my background noise. I just finished watching some of the worst throws in baseball and am now catching up with scores. And I didn't realize until just now that this is sort of abnormal for a female. I would like to take this moment to express my appreciation to the ex-boyfriend who refused to ever turn the television away from sports news. Seven years later I voluntarily watch ESPN. I believe it was his way of putting me through training to someday be able to live with two guys and not go crazy.