Top Ten Reasons Tim is Still Single

Tim's creepiness dates back ages. Girls like me love his creepiness and end up living with him...and not being able to live without him. However, there are a handful of girls in the world who just don't understand the Tim we all know and love. The three of us in the APT can't figure out why girls don't fall head over heels for Tim. So Nathan and I have put together this list of episodes so that my blog audience can be the judge of why he is still a single man.

#10:
When Tim was in college he was smitten with a beautiful young lady. Nathan asked Tim,
"Hey, whatever happened with that girl?" Tim told Nathan that he did call her. When Nathan asked Tim how many times he called, Tim responded with, "Nine." So Nathan asked why he called so many times and Tim said, "Because I thought maybe she didn't have caller ID, or didn't realize I was trying to call." The girl never responded. Then, one evening shortly after, Tim decided to go for a late night run and happened to bump into this girl walking with another of his teammates and they both pretended the "nine calls in a few hours" never happened. Awkwarddd.

#9:
Tim is a better dancer than 99% of girls. They are intimidated by him.

#8:
When we are out he usually chooses to dance and hit on the old married women.

#7:
Somehow pieces of my laundry always end up mixed in with Tim's laundry. We are not sure how this happens, but when girls DO come over they find other girls' clothing in Tim's room. It's always mine, but he has gotten into BIG trouble for this before. I think it's hilarious :D

#6:
Tim makes everyone who enters the apartment for the first time do a beer bong. Male...or female.

#5:
His lovemaking playlist consists of Beethoven and Mendelssohn.

#4:
If Tim takes a girl fishin' in the dark out at the lake, it may be 20 minutes before he notices that when he was casting out his line it got caught on the grass behind him and he really hasn't had a line in the water at all.

#3:
Tim lives with a girl who will judge all other girls before they are allowed in his life. This is no short or easy judgment process, either.

#2:
Tim was facebook stalking one of his most recent attractions. (Don't act like this is creepy, you know you do it, too. And you probably not only stalk the person but also their friends' and families' profiles. Well Tim decided to go back approximately 3 years on her profile and comment on a post one of her friends had written.

(Girl's friend): "Hey girl! Are we still going out Thursday night??!" (Remember, this was 3 yrs ago)
(Tim Rickard Comment): "Wait...this Thursday?"

#1:
He switches his bedsheets between Monopoly and Star Wars