The Gary and Marta Influence

Over their past couple visits to the 'Bash, the boys have picked up on something that my parents(specifically my mother)tend to do consistently. If people ever wonder why I act so spoiled, my father is probably to blame. He has three women in his life that he spoils endlessly by doing anything we ask of him.

Well my mother, who is just one of the sweetest and most thoughtful people ever, graciously offers to do things for the boys when they are visiting in Wabash. Except she is not really offering, she is more volunteering my dad. For example:

Mom- "Boys, do you need your bags carried to the car? Gary can do that for you!"

Mom- "Boys, do you need something to drink from downstairs? Gary, go get them some coke!"

And etcetera. Since the boys have picked up on this (and find it absolutely hilarious because my dad always actually does what she says) they've decided to start using this method on me, as well as other visitors to the apartment. For example:

Nathan- "Julie, do you need help carrying your groceries in? Tim will help you."

So if you come over on a Friday night for our typical gatherings before making an appearance in Broad Ripple, you may be offered a beer bong. Being offered a beer bong is not unusual from the boys, but now it will go more like this:

Nathan- "Do you want a beer bong? Tim will get it for you!"

Tim- (Runs to go get beer bong)

Testing the Waters

This blog post is slightly, maybe months, late. Sorry. The above picture is the result of a night of sledding. I would just like for my audience to know that Tim is usually a very good-looking man.

A really bad poem/song written by me to summarize our sledding experience:

Tim and Liz went up the hill to fetch another sled.

Liz fell down and Tim broke his nose,

And the rest of us went tumbling after!

Backtrack:

Ok, so Tim didn't ACTUALLY break his nose. We'll get to his torn-up face towards the end of the story. But Liz really did fall down...more than several times.

The hill behind our apartment is one that even Jack and Jill wouldn't attempt. And for some reason we found it necessary to sled down this steep, slippery slope, which led directly to the lake. The only chance you had of stopping was hitting the large rocks that surround the body of water (please see post "Boredom" for more rock details). And chances were, the rocks would not stop you, they would only hurt and ramp you at the same time.

To ensure our safety, the boys wandered pretty far out onto the lake, tools in hand (which Nathan got at a garage sale...safe), and dug an ice-fishing hole to catch us some dinner while we were having fun. Determining that the ice was at least 6 inches deep (some of my male readers at this point are wishing they were like ice), the boys told me to call up Liz and Brian. For those of you who don't know Brian, he is probably twice your height and weight (but don't be fooled, he can swim like a freakin fish). Brian had convinced himself that the ice would not hold his body weight and he would end up in the middle of the frigid lake water. But Liz came over in true 'Oakland City' form in her hunting-style hot orange overalls and shoes that were far from snowboots. I caught this video after a few good runs down the hill by the boys, Sarah, and Liz. This is the evidence that Liz should have listened to Stacy when she tried to throw these non-grip shoes out of Liz's closet last year!

Once each of our butts had four bruises (each cheek) from the rocks that we were continuously hitting at the bottom of the hill, we all thought it would be a great idea to head to another area of the lake. We walked as far as we thought necessary to an area that looked like the snow ran smoothly from the top of the lake to the middle of the lake. We were convinced there were no rocks in this area. (Please keep in mind that the snow was so deep at this point that it would have been impossible to see a rock that was 2 feet in diameter. Also, it was nighttime--pitch black) So as we all stared at each other waiting to see who volunteered to go first, of course it was Tim who came running up behind us, said, "I'LL GO!" and threw himself belly down, head-first onto the sled and down the hill.

The other four of us watched from the top with high hopes for this new sledding spot. DOWN...DOwn...down...he went until BOOM! A sound rang through the air that made the other four of us wince. There were, in fact, no rocks; however, the way the snow had settled on the hill and lake did not allow us to see from the top of the hill that there was approximately a three foot drop between the land and water level. Tim had soared into the air for a split second before landing face-down, belly-down, spread-eagle onto the snow covered ice. This gave him three decent sized gashes down the center of his face, aaaaaand we decided to keep on moving around the lake to find a new spot.

Trekking through the snow and up and down the hill finally got the best of us and we headed back to the apartment to warm up. It was an awesome winter night, Tim's face is finally healing, and Brian came over to pick up Liz so we got to tell him all about what he missed out on!

The Call of the Wild

If you don't believe in retail therapy, you're probably full of BS. When one of the three of us who live here in the apartment makes a new purchase, it typically makes us very happy. Mine usually consist of clothes, shoes, really cool hats, etc. Tim's "happy purchases" may include milk (or lack thereof), movies, new 'get lucky' boxers, or something techie. The materialistic things that make Nathan happy usually involve firearms or other odd objects that we can add to our already-full hunting gear hall closet.

This week Nathan bought new turkey calls. He had to immediately show them to me when I got home yesterday and he urged me to try them out. It takes a certain "tongue talent" to get these little instruments to work. (That's what she said)

If you could please picture the two of us standing in my bathroom looking at ourselves and each other in the mirror for about 15 minutes making various pitched turkey noises through a device inserted on the roof of our mouths.

One day later (today), Nathan is no less obsessed with his new toys. He now enjoys just keeping these in his mouth to make music...or call turkeys...all evening. I caught him in action...enjoy!

Girls' Night In

Friday night was meant to be taken easy. With the excitement of our friend Nicole visiting from New York on Saturday, we knew we needed to spend Friday preparing ourselves for the (excuse my french) shitshow that Saturday would be. So for the KD ladies (plus other very special friends) our way of preparing was ordering pizza and staying in to watch The Ugly Truth. Thankfully all of my friends know that whenever a girls' night is planned at my place, it will include boys.

**I would like to take a step back in time for a moment to preface the rest of our girls' night in story. Months ago when I first heard the words come loudly out of Nathan's mouth, "Oh THIS is embarrassing" I obviously went quickly to find out what was going on. It was then (followed by a few other incidents) that I realized my two roommates enjoy using that phrase to grab my attention and get me to walk into a situation where one of them is usually completely butt naked. I have since learned when I hear such a phrase to first grab my camera, and THEN walk in. (Sorry, photos will NOT be posted...I'm not looking to get kicked off of blogspot, people)**

Back to our girls' night in. With about 8 girls' eyes glued to the tv, feeling jealous of movie-only love story that was unfolding in the movie, I see Nathan waltz out from the hallway in merely a towel around his waste just to stop dead in his tracks in front of all the girls, look around, and say, "Oh THIS is embarrassing." True to his form, Nathan turned around and walked back out, but just before getting around the corner he dropped his towel so all the girls watched his bare butt walk away.

After this episode I heard Sonia yelling my name from the hallway saying that I was needed at the bathroom. I was most definitely not needed at the bathroom because once I got there BOTH boys were naked. Tim was pressed up against the sink and Nathan was just standing very awkwardly. I missed 30 seconds of movie for this image.

I haven't yet figured out why we even put movies in. The boys are a never-ending "reel" of fun to watch!

...And we're the three BEST friends that ANYONE could have!!

I have officially lost count of how many times we've watched The Hangover. I would like to give thanks/blame to my sister for buying it for me for Christmas.

Dear Sis,

We are losing sleep down here in Indy because we can't stop watching this movie. Please help.

Love,
Me

If you ever come to visit our apartment you never know when you'll hear the words ring out, "HEY! There were Skittles in there!"

A visit to the 'BASH

"The 'Bash" is to Wabash as "Btown" is to Bloomington. Tim and Nathan decided to take the risk of visiting my hometown, having dinner with my family, having a night out on the town at the infamous Kettle, and ultimately spending the night in the household I grew up in.

After a few directional phone calls the boys made it just in time for dinner. The meal was typical to our family meals held here in the apartment except there was an added Nathan (my sister's boyfriend) for added confusion. True to their relationship with my father, when dinner and dessert were done, the boys took all available food to present to my dad in the living room.




We goofed around awhile longer (and may have accidentally made Hoppes wait two hours on us) before we hit the town. First, though, Nathan tried to make friends with Buddy. (Buddy was NOT pleased)



After playing a couple of practical jokes on Hoppes (they involved the use of the name Heiser-please see previous post) we finally rolled up to the Kettle... known by all and frequented by many in the quaint little town. We posted up next to the entrance, claimed a corner table and proceeded to play card games while being extremely loud and obnoxious. The boys used their famous line of "THERE SHE IS" to older, questionably classy, women walking in the door, just to sink down into their chairs when they saw the husbands following. Tim and Nathan received many strange looks (most of which I'm sure they didn't even notice because that is typical wherever they go) but I could have been 100% correct on a prediction that they would get those looks. The people of my hometown HATE when they don't know who someone is and their entire life's story. Overall it was a fabulous time of playing Kings and "taking the little man off the cup."




The Hangover, and I mean the movie--not a legitimate hangover, was awaiting us at home. So after a few hours of fun in town we were all anxious to get home. The Bears snuggies Nathan had just given Tim and myself for Christmas were pulled out of their boxes, everyone put on pj's, and Kari, my sis, Nathan, Tim, and I all found a spot in the basement to watch one of the all-time best movies. (Which neither of the boys had seen yet) About five minutes into the movie everyone was sound asleep, except for Kari who was CRACKING up!

Around 4:30am I woke up, looked around at all the sleeping bodies, and tried to get people to get up and go upstairs to go to bed. The only person who would hear of such an idea was my sister, who goes into zombie mode once she's been asleep, but will sometimes listen. We had two beds set up for the boys in my bedroom but since they weren't budging, I said the hell with it and slept in one of their beds. Tim is an odd man when he sleeps. You can literally mold him into any position and he will sleep like that comfortably for the rest of the night. The way his neck was positioned on the tiny loveseat he was sitting on made me hurt just looking at him.

Upon waking later in the morning I learned from my mother that she tried her best to be polite and not make any noise that would wake the boys (who she thought were asleep in my room) So she went out to the laundry room to blow dry her hair in the morning so that the dryer would not be running on the same end of the house they were sleeping on. She told me that she shut the blow dryer off, opened the laundry room door (which happens to be close to the entrance to the basement) and heard some loud snoring (Tiiiiimmmm). She thought that was pretty strange so she walked down a few steps to find the boys and Kari fast asleep in the basement....Tim still in the same awkward position.

When Nathan and Tim finally woke up, we had some breakfast and then some morning entertainment:





The window in our kitchen is perfect for their version of the elevator, stairs, escalator, boat rowing, and many more. The boys were determined to watch The Hangover so we wasted the late morning hours of Christmas Eve day replaying the movie.

The last event that would take place in Wabash during their visit was a hunting trip. They got all decked out in Nathan's hunting gear to go catch us some food for the next week. Every time Tim needed to get from one spot in the room to the next while getting ready he somersaulted to it...which caused my dad to laugh just a little. We packed them a sandwich and sent them on their way to the woods.





It was sad to see them go. The next time Tim and Nathan would visit Wabash would not be so much fun. But that story is saved for a future blog post.

Bells Ringing, Cop Lights Flashing, Marriages Brewing, and A Lot of Really Cool Socks

We've all been through college and seen some pretty wicked theme parties with the most popular theme around the Holidays being Ugly Christmas Sweater parties. I can guarantee there has NEVER been an Ugly Sweater party quite like this one. Ignoring the fact that we invited 400 more people than our little apartment would hold, I would like to enlighten you all with the success that was the 2nd Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party, Dec. 11, 2009.

I'll start off with a look into what the night before the party brought. Brian and Stacy came over to help move furniture which helped in two ways, it protected the furniture and gave us "so much more room for activities!" The dining room table was moved to Tim's room and after making a long mark alllll the way down the hallway wall, the loveseat ended up at the foot of Nathan's bed. Nathan and Tim, in a strikingly similar to grinch-like manner, went to Brian's to get an extra futon for seating and steal Christmas decorations. Because Liz is one of those REALLY over-festive people she has an over-abundance of decorations. I received a voicemail from Liz that went something like this, "Tim and Nathan just came to our apartment and took all of my Christmas decorations including the Christmas candles. I feel like I've been robbed."

Moving on to the start of the party:

When you bring together three different groups of friends, classmates, and mere acquaintances it's bound to get wild as Tim does when he does the Stanky Leg dance. You would think that pregaming wouldn't be necessary for a party that started at 7 and offered plenty of "Peppermint Patties" and "Apple Pie" but Neal and Mike found it COMPLETELY necessary. Not only did they hold a mid-afternoon pregame but they also borrowed sweaters from Trueblood's dad's closet.



If you would like to know how the pre-game + party turned out for these two you should ask them personally, on your own time. Just for a head's up, they probably don't remember.

Mike and Neal may have had on ugly sweaters, but Tim and Nathan won the best costume contest. Titled "Midget Santa and His Reindeer"



Evidently Goodwill carries a lot more ugly Christmas sweaters for women than for men because a majority of the males that showed up on Friday were decked out in womens' clothing. Nathan's outfit above was no exception. He came back to my room before the party to have me help him pull on his sweater over the turtleneck. I asked him what in the WORLD was wrong with his turtleneck before realizing that there was nothing wrong with it, it was just way too small for him. He was very proud of his cross-dressing for the night, we even discussed it as Stacy pinned on a "Joy" pin to the neck of his shirt. The convo went a little like this:

Stacy: "Nathan is that a woman's sweater?"
Nathan: "Yes and the turtleneck is too."
Stacy: "Yea I can really tell."
Nathan: "Thank you! And these are my most metro pants."
Me: "What does that mean they are too tight?"
Hoppes: "So those pants show a bulge?"
(And without missing a beat, or looking away from her work with the pin to actually CHECK whether or not they did, Stacy chimed in): "YES they do!"
hmmmm.....



I forced the boys to go through a Christmas card photo shoot before anything got too crazy. If you're lucky enough to get a card from us it may look similar to this:



As is the norm at every major event we attend, Tim enjoys a good upside-down bong.



At this point you are more than likely wanting me to get to the good part of "Cop Lights Flashing and Marriages Brewing." Though like the courteous neighbors they are, the boys had pre-warned our friendly building neighbors that we would, in fact, be having a rather large Christmas party on Friday night. Evidently that didn't do the trick because we got that dreaded knock on the door with the red and blues going outside. The bored cops of the greater Indianapolis area were scheming up a noise violation to lay on the innocent people in the world just trying to bring in the Christmas Holiday in real style. Thankfully the sweet (maybe mildly slurred) speech of Nathan got them to go away, but it was time to turn down the music. Whoever doesn't like "Jingle Bells" playing at top volume is the REAL grinch! (I guess it could have possibly been the 342 times that they put the playlist back to "Shots Shots Shots Shots"...but I'm not sure)

As the night rolled on...(insert random action shots):










(end random action shots)
...there was definitely love in the air. The Hot Toddies could have gone to their heads but when a boy and girl put on a really great sweater and awkward pair of socks you never know what might cause their hearts to skip a beat. Now, I'm not going to give away who it was:




...but most people could figure out who it was.

Along with the topic of love, I would like to send out my deepest apologies to Miss Kara Murphy. The pooooor girl had to put up with every boy trying to make out with her as the suggestively brushed by her. (Or as Nathan put it "Kara trying to make out with me") She was pinned as the target for the night and there was no escaping my roommates and the crazy guys they call friends. She was an excellent sport, even when Tim walked by and straight-up licked her face!! (Face-licking obviously being a sign of true affection)

The night continued on into a blur that probably shouldn't be discussed in a blog, but the important part is that an AFTER party actually happened the next morning. It included a large group of people participating in a good hour of thorough cleaning and a beer bong offering to the painters who were working in our entryway. My roommates have never been stingy with the beer bong.

Currently as I write this Tim is studying at the dining room table in his room and Nathan is probably sitting on the loveseat at the foot of his bed. Last night when we made dinner together the three of us had to decide whether we wanted to sit in Tim's room or on the floor in the living room together. We chose the floor.

The planning for the 3rd Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater party will begin in approximately May, so start collecting sweaters and crazy-cool Holiday socks now!